Working Mom Guilt

I have it bad this year-working mom guilt. It tears at my heart every time I think about going back. I had it bad when Jackson was first born. I cried for days leading up to my first day back, and I remember crying as Tim pulled out of that driveway for the first time to take him to Noni's.  When Brooks was a baby, I was sad too and cried the day before. It was so hard going from 1 to 2 kids (2 under 2 is rough.) that even though I did not want to leave my babies, I needed a break.

I have not cried yet, but I know the tears are coming. Tim will just look at me like I am crazy. We had such a great summer. We spent a lot of time in the house (too hot outside) and probably had too much screen time ( again too hot and a newborn). So far 2to 3 kids has been as easy adjustment ( of course he doesn't move yet). I have loved all of our time at home. The boys had a great time at Summer Fun and VBS. We had so much fun at the beach. Yes. The boys got on each other's nerves, but they had fun too just playing.

Walker is probably our last baby, and he is a big momma's boy. He loves to cuddle and loves to be held. His best nap is his afternoon nap where he sleeps in my arms (That's why my house is still a mess, but babies don't stay little long.) He and I definitely have a special bond. I hate that I have to leave him. We are so blessed that they stay with my mom. I couldn't leave them with anyone else, but I am still sad to miss the time with them and the first time they do their new "tricks."

I already regret the time I've missed, and I know that regret will grow. They are only little and want you around for so long! I would give anything to stay home with them. Until I win the lottery,I will work my multiple jobs so they can have food, clothes, shelter, and health insurance. Someone has to pay the doctors' bills.

 I hope they never think "my other kids" ( as Jackson calls them) come first especially when they see me still working as they go to bed. I hope they understand when I can't come to every school party or performance. I hope they understand why I can't always stay home with them when they are sick.  I hope they always know they are number one! I hope they know how lucky they are that they get to spend the day with Noni and Papa Jerry, and TuTu.


Next summer will be totally different- they will be 6,4, and 1.